What can I do?

I just realized a little bit ago that I'm screwed when it comes to paying for college. I've got a little bit of money saved up, but I'm not sure how much I'll get from the government to help. Hocking in one quarter will cost me at least $3000. Probably closer to $5000 to be honest. My grandma and parents are both tapped out as cosigners for loans, and my aunt and uncle probably won't do anything either. That leaves me with a couple of options: Stay out of school for a year to save up money to go away to school, or join the military (which will still probably require me to not be in school for a year so I can get in shape for it). I'm probably just going to take a year off, much against my desire to just stay in school, to try and save up the money so I don't have to take out a student loan.

AND Hocking's tuition increased to about $106, around where LCCC is. So I'm really not saving any money. And besides, I might have to take a year off anyway so I can go to Italy when I'm more along in my culinary education. I guess they only go every other year, and they're supposed to go next year, during my second or third quarter (out of 6 total quarters). I need to consider that as well.

I won't make any decision like this until after I visit Hocking and get my FAFSA info back to see what I qualify for. If I get the $5000 a quarter like I'll need, then Hocking is definitely in my sights for September. If not...I'll likely be taking the year off.

I hate being an adult...and being financially screwed by my siblings.

Weekend Update

Since my last blog I did I have dropped my two on-campus classes...which really depresses me. I miss photography something awful, and math too. However, i think this will work out better for me. This way I can still get the sleep I need, and work the hours I need to. Its just gonna suck when softball season comes along, because with it comes 2 additional classes. Oh boy.

I'm still missing "him," but he hasn't been on my mind as much. I'm just trying to stay busy so I'm not thinking about "him" as much.

I'm also missing my friends a TON!!! We never get to hang out and talk. I wish we all weren't so busy with work and school and stuff. I guess that's life though? I really need to hang out with everyone.

I'm SUPER excited that I get to visit Hocking in less then a week!!! It will be the decision making visit, even though I'm 99.99% sure that I want to go to Hocking.

Kind of short and sweet I guess, but this is all!

Him...

For whatever reason I've had a certain someone on my mind constantly and I'm not sure why. I've known him my entire life, and we haven't been in contact lately, but whenever I'm with him I'm just...happy. I haven't seen him in awhile, so that's probably what it is and I'm REALLY missing him.

Classes aren't going so great either. With my closing all the time I still can't get sleep. This means that I fall asleep around 5 am. I have class at 10 so that means MAYBE 4 hours of sleep. Problem is that I sleep through the 5 most obnoxious alarms on the planet and miss classes that I CAN'T miss. So now I'm thinking that I should just drop my on-campus classes and pick up 2 more online classes starting in March. Those two classes I want to take are Comparative Politics, and State and Local Government. I'm kind of looking forward to them! All I have to do now are drop my two on-campus classes to pick up the two that I found.

But yeah, thinking about him constantly...it's very strange, but makes me happy.

sleep seems to elude me...every freakin' night!!!

So it's 4:39am. I'm completely and utterly exhausted from work today, yet I can't seem to get to sleep. This is becoming a habit because of my late nights at work, but I need to figure out a way to be able to get off of work around midnight, and then be asleep by 1am. I've tried almost everything I can think of. I just want to get a decent nights sleep and wake up at a decent time in the next morning. Is that too much to ask?!

Work seems to be going well I guess. I did a few things wrong a couple days ago, and may have screwed up again tonight, but it wasn't completely my fault.

Classes seem to be going well, except for already missing a day of photography...which I'm really upset about, but I really couldn't go to school. Not with how I was feeling. I probably shouldn't have gone to work, but I was feeling better by that point.

Anyway, I need to catch up on class reading for Wednesdays class since I DON'T HAVE CLASSES ON MONDAY BECAUSE OF MARTIN LUTHER KING JR. DAY!!! I COMPLETELY FORGOT ABOUT US HAVING A DAY OFF OF SCHOOL!!! YESSSSSSSSSS!!!

*ahem* Back to normal now I guess. I'm looking into that Zumba thing. It looks like a blast! And since I'm not playing softball, I really need to get into a regular workout routine. I have Insanity, but its not as cool as I thought it would be. I just wasn't in good shape for it. I really think Insanity is for people in shape and able to do that extreme stuff. So maybe I can get back into Insanity after doing Zumba to get into decent shape! ANOTHER BRILLIANT REALIZATION!!! I really do my best thinking at night!!! I think I'll go out to Splash Zone and take a class for $7 one day to see how I like it. And then I'll decide if I want to purchase the complete package online or not. *nods* Yep. Sounds good.

I think I'll go ahead and do some photography now to try and stay up and go to church. Then I'll nap for a couple hours and then go to work (maybe) unless Tyler wants my 4 hour shift.

1 Day Down...

Classes began today. Boy, am I in for a busy, sleepless semester! I'm going to be insanely busy starting in March for sure since I pick up an extra class then what I already have. Photography is going to make it especially hard since I'll have to buy all the extra supplies for it and spend the time out shooting it all, and then all the extra out of class hours spent in the lab to develop it all. And what's worse is that I'm probably eligible to play softball. I was starting to accept that I might not be able to play and tell my boss this, and then I was chatting with coach about it and I'm still eligible. However, I just can't! I'm taking 6? total classes, 4 online ones, and trying to work as much as possible...I just don't think I'll have the time to play. Its just too much. And it really depresses me that I can't do everything, and I feel like I'm letting Ryan down (she's the shortstop), which is the worst part.

I let my classes slide last semester, and in order to make up for it I need to take a minimum of 15 credit hours and pass them all. I just can't do it. I REALLLLLLLLLY want to play and its breaking my heart to know that I could, but I have to chose not to. UGH! Growing up sucks! If I were still younger and not thinking about my future I would play softball in a heart beat, but now I have to worry about transcripts and financial aid and scholarships and loans like I haven't had to before. On the bright side, when I'm 24 and back at LCCC I'll still have a year of eligibility left! Who knows. I'm just going with what I think I need to do academically, even though its breaking my heart.

:'(

Wesley is back!!!

I got Wesley back!!! YAY!!! I have a car again!!!

I have an exciting day planned for tomorrow! Definitely a cheap shopping day planned. Hittin' up the Salvation Army for half off day, then my first trip out to Plato's Closet for more cheap stuff to try and look cute-like. Then bi-weekly Trivia night at Applebee's with Missy.

I really, really, REALLY can't wait for school to start again in 5 days! I feel like I'm the most prepared than I've ever been and I have an actual study plan set up to deal with my Internet classes so I'm not procrastinating so bad!

Undercover Boss...

I was watching Undercover Boss tonight (when I wasn't watching Billy the Exterminator and picking up a Louisiana accent) and I just had reaffirmed my possibility of a career path for once I'm finished with culinary school. The CEO of Norwegian Cruise Lines, which I've studied extensively and did my term project on for one of my Hospitality classes, and I really think that I want to work on a cruise ship once I'm done with school. I'd finally get the chance to travel the world like I've dreamed of doing, and I could cook for some of the best chefs in the world and meet all kinds of different people. With my Hospitality background I could also do something else besides work in the kitchen, or give them more flexibility with a schedule. Like if there was an emergency vacancy in the kitchen I could step in and help out. It just seems so awesome. Now all I have to do is get over my fear of flying, lack of swimming ability, and fear of being in open water and I'll be all set.

The only downside is the amount of time spent away from friends and family. Its just an option that I have, but as I've looked into it, I'm considering it even more. Is it really a viable option? Some of my other choices are New York, Chicago, Miami, or I could opt to stay in Europe and Italy. Its just crazy. I still need to apply to school to begin with, so I probably shouldn't get to carried away with it. I'm just waiting on the grade thing and then get some classes forgiven before I send off my transcript. I'm really excited. I think my favorite part is the dorms that have a bathroom in them, and how selective they are with chosing roommates: by major, smoking/non-smoking, hobbies, activities, and personality. I just can't wait to get the ball rolling on everything!

2011

Well, its a new year, so I guess I'll start a new blog to reflect that. Its just easier to keep track of all the events that have happened to me in a more organized manner.

Since I haven't blogged at all since November, there are obviously quite a few things to catch you up on!

1) This semester ended terribly. I ended up failing one of my classes so now I might not be able to play softball for the college, I might lose my financial since my grades were so bad, and I lost my financial aid anyway since its taken me "too long" to earn my associates degree. All of the situations mentioned are being taken care of and gears are moving.

2) Christmas went really well this year. I couldn't think of anything to ask for, so I just got money to spend however I wanted. My grandma gave it to me in a cool way and in turn gave me a present she didn't intend to! It was cool. I got to see my aunt and uncle for the 1 time a year that I see them. Calley and Jimmy came down from Michigan, and David came back from BG where he's now living.

3) After Christmas didn't go so great. I was working SO much that I didn't see my mom until New Years Eve day. We live in the same house, but I worked so much that I didn't see her in person over 5 or 6 days! First time I saw her she came into work for dinner when I got to tell her that my muffler fell off my car...again. It was ridiculous! New Years Eve was pretty fun I guess. Jimmy and Calley came down from Michigan again, but unfortunately Calley got SUPER sick. I felt so bad for her, but she's all better now! Well, mostly better!

4)This morning (well, yesterday really) I was taking my pre-work shower and got a nose bleed from the hot water. Out of the blue. No reason. It freaked me out. It stops just in time for work, I come home, pig out on junk food since I can, then decide to take a longer, hotter shower, and it bleeds again. Much worse though.

*THIS NEXT PART IS GROSS! DON'T READ IT IF YOU CAN'T HANDLE MENTION OF BLOOD!*







I end up pulling a clot from nose and throat about 3 inches long. It looked like a worm! I'm still a little freaked out about it. I've had nose bleeds before but this was definitely the worst one!







*OK. YOU CAN START READING AGAIN!*

I'm breathing normally and all is well I guess. Though my nose is a little swollen and tender. I already WebMD'd it. It's probably just a reaction to the ibuprofen I took yesterday. Last time I had a nose bleed I was taking ibuprofen the day before, too. I guess I'll be taking cooler showers from now on.

5) I'm closing more often at work now, I am the #2 closer after all. But it just means that I'm losing sleep. I like sleep! I don't know why he keeps getting lost!

6) Did I mention that the new semester starts in a week? Oh boy. I'm really excited though! I'm taking math and photography! I just hope they don't take up all of my time when I'm not working or (hopefully) softball-ing.

7) I read Kali's blog post about not feeling the same about the Crew. I sense it too, but I think its mostly because most of us do work and can't get our schedules to line up easily. Unfortunately we're learning we have to make sacrifices and might not be able to hang out as much as we used to. But I think it gives us a good excuse to make our times together even more epic!

8) I'm going to be doing a lot of complaining about school and work in the next semester of blogs, but hopefully I'll have some good moments and good things that happen to me (like a boyfriend for example *poke* right big guy upstairs?!*poke*). But I think the most exciting thing that will happen to me is when I go to Hocking. I just need to apply and send my transcripts and be accepted first. :P

I'll leave you with this for now. Its a bit on the long side, and I hope to keep blogging on a more regular basis than last year. I was doing pretty decent until November when work and school picked up. Have a great year everyone!